Tag: love

5 Gutsy Things to Say on Valentine’s Day

It never hurts to tell your partner “I love you” or whisper a seductive compliment to him or her, especially on Valentine’s Day. That said, there are some other, more unexpected things you might confess that could surprise your partner with your emotional depth and sophistication. This Valentine’s Day, try sparking some romantic conversation with one of the following, at first somewhat baffling, statements. Read more

A Therapist’s Thoughts on Turning 45

So, yes, I officially turned 45 years old today. 45 years! What does this even mean? How does thinking about it effect me? Does it cause me to re-evaluate my life? Or mourn the passing of my youth and youthful vigor? Does it conjure a slew of thoughts about my own mortality? After all, birthdays effect everyone differently and, no matter how we approach these milestones of time’s annual passing, different birthdays carry different types of meaning with them. Turning 10 for instance, then 13, 16, 18, 21, 30, 40… all unique experiences. Turning 45, what did I really think about this? Well, this morning I got my answer, courtesy of a thought I didn’t remotely expect to have.

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Cinemawise: CHAPPiE Speaks to Parenting, Humanity, Love

Cinema Psych: CHAPPiE Speaks to Parenting

Rarely does a film come along that offers equal parts full-throttle bravado, tender-hearted sentimentality, and rich grist for the philosophical mill, but this is exactly what Neill Blomkamp (Elysium, District 9) achieves in his latest contribution to the science-fiction milieu of robotics. I’m not a film critic, so I’m not going to write this article as if I were one, yet I will say this: CHAPPiE is brilliant.

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Falling in Love with Your Family

We tend to think of falling in love as something that happens between two individuals. If we fall in love, perhaps we’re lucky enough to have those feelings reciprocated and build a lasting relationship with this person, maybe get married, have kids, form a family, you know, all that conventional stuff (not that that’s the only way to do things). Then, upon this path, life inevitably happens. The stress and challenges of partnership begin to slowly nudge out the grandeurs of early romance and, at periodic junctures, it’s not uncommon for some folks to wonder, “Hmmmm, have I fallen out of love?”

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The World’s Best Food Trucks

Last week I wrote about restaurants, this week it’s food trucks. I must be hungry, unsurprising perhaps since I did spend the week prior on a juice fast. Nonetheless, since food is something we can all so easily relate to, it simply makes for a bounty of irresistible metaphorical uses. And thanks to the recent food truck revolution (especially here in Austin), what I’m about to say about human beings, using food trucks as a metaphor, will hopefully strike a quickly resonant chord.

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Under New Management: The Art of Rediscovery

I’ve been feeling a bit like a restaurant lately, which is an uncomfortable thing to admit. I’m not used to comparing myself to buildings, much less ones that serve food, especially considering that I am a notoriously poor cook. Nonetheless, it dawned on me recently just how perfect this metaphor is to describe a phenomenon that I believe is fairly common among people in general, not just me. In fact, I bet you’ve felt like a restaurant plenty of times before; you just didn’t describe it in these terms.

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Understanding Threesomes

Relationships are the stuff of life. Quite literally, nothing in the universe exists that isn’t in a relationship to a whole bunch of other stuff, not to mention (indirectly) everything else in existence too. Of course, we homo sapiens, when we discuss relationships, we’re usually referring to the face-to-face, human-to-human variety, which are by far the most complicated of them all. In this article, I’ll explain what makes our interpersonal interactions just so mischievously difficult,  and what to do about all those threesomes in which we keep unwittingly finding ourselves.

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Being the Shore: The Ins & Outs of Emotional Closeness

People are always changing, flowing through shifting emotional states. As we morph throughout time, one of the things that fluctuates is our desire for emotional–and physical–closeness. This phenomenon can really complicate relationships! Your partner might not want to cuddle or have sex or share a meaningful conversation at the exact moment you do, or vice versa. You might want to feel closer to someone who doesn’t want closeness, or want more distance from someone who seeks greater closeness from you. An important question then arises: What’s the best way to manage these ever-shifting desires for closeness and distance? Here’s what I tell clients.

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Top 10 Relationship Myths

Conventional wisdom is great for creating ordinary relationships, but creating extraordinary relationships takes extraordinary means, means that replace conventional thinking with a less conventional, more out-of-the-box approach to connecting. In this article, I quickly debunk the top 10 relationship myths I see most often in couples counseling.

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In Praise of Manipulation

Manipulation gets a bad rap. In The Two Truths About Love: The Art & Wisdom of Extraordinary Relationships, as well as in my counseling sessions with clients, I explain how each and every one of us has 99% control of every relationship. Upon occasion, a client will remark, “Oh, but I don’t want to be thought of as controlling.” What a travesty! Such a person has yet to awaken to the limitless rewards that come from being manipulative. My goal, as a therapist, is to help people realize the essential role that skillful manipulation plays in our pursuit of success and happiness.

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Hassle-Free Traveling, Living

We get dropped off at the curb at LAX in the morning, a few days after Christmas, the four of us, myself, my wife, two toddlers, …

In Pursuit of Humility

Our society, quite literally, prides itself on confidence. Our heroes and role models teem with it; the celebrities, Grammy-winning …

The Failure Bias: We Are Sparta!

There’s a lot of talk on the internet about success, how you can do anything you set your mind to if you just believe …