Tag kids

Counseling for Kids

One of my fondest counseling experiences was with a single mother who came to me seeking help for her fifteen-year-old daughter, who she described as having poor social skills and issues with explosive anger. The mother was exasperated because she…

Cinema Psych: CHAPPiE Speaks to Parenting

Cinemawise: CHAPPiE Speaks to Parenting, Humanity, Love
Rarely does a film come along that offers equal parts full-throttle bravado, tender-hearted sentimentality, and rich grist for the philosophical mill, but this is exactly what Neill Blomkamp (Elysium, District 9) achieves in his latest contribution to the science-fiction milieu of robotics. I'm not a film critic, so I'm not going to write this article as if I were one, yet I will say this: CHAPPiE is brilliant.

Rethinking “The Divorce Talk”

This article is actually an email I sent to one of my clients who was dreading having "the divorce conversation" with her kids. Like many faced with this daunting task, she assumed her children (both between the ages of 5 and 10) would be devastated by the news. Two days after sending my 8 tips, I received the following response from her: "Thank you SO much for this help! [Spouse's name] and I read it over several times and did just as you laid out-- and all is okay! The kids seem fairly unaffected so far and were happy and excited about xxxxxx's apartment having a pool. Anyway, I guess as far as this talk goes, it was really successful. You pointed out several things I wouldn't have thought about, so thank you. And thanks for always being available and willing to help. You rock!!" The particular 8 tips that I had offered her are included below.

In Praise of Manipulation

Manipulation gets a bad rap. In The Two Truths About Love: The Art & Wisdom of Extraordinary Relationships, as well as in my counseling sessions with clients, I explain how each and every one of us has 99% control of every relationship. Upon occasion, a client will remark, "Oh, but I don't want to be thought of as controlling." What a travesty! Such a person has yet to awaken to the limitless rewards that come from being manipulative. My goal, as a therapist, is to change this.

Yo Gabba Gabba, Literally! (The McGurk Effect)

My two-year-old son, like your average American child, rarely goes a day without viewing television, and often quite a bit of it. He watches a show or two when he wakes up in the morning, maybe a full-length animated film in the afternoon, and another program sometime in the evening. With a one-year-old to manage simultaneously, it's not uncommon for my wife and I to occasionally entrust one of our many animated allies with briefly babysitting our toddler. Of course, neither Nemo, Lightning McQueen, nor Buzz Lightyear can change a diaper worth a damn, but they certainly are adept at keeping kids from sticking forks in electrical outlets, which is a plus. My wife and I understand that our sons will be constantly learning from everything they're observing and hearing, so we don't choose our cartoon caretakers lightly. We carefully select only those that will not only entertain and amuse, but will also promote our values of kindness, cooperation, and non-violence. Minimal pushing, shoving, hitting, fighting, shooting, killing, that sort of thing. We aim for sweet, gentle, innocent, nurturing. Too bad we didn't, until just recently, know about The McGurk Effect.