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Imagine that you are about to embark on a long-distance, solo motorcycle ride across the Mojave desert. The trip is bound to be grueling and, if you know anything about motorcycles, you can be certain that your vehicle is going to break down, probably multiple times, during your journey. Since you’re going on this adventure alone, not knowing how to make repairs along the way would put you in serious peril. In fact, you’d be wise to cancel the trip entirely. However, if you are skilled in the art of motorcycle maintenance, then no problem! You can fearlessly set forth without reservation. When dilemmas and challenges arise, you’ll know just what to do to get yourself back up and running.
Relationships are a lot like this. Although it might look like you are going on such an adventure with a partner, in truth you are going alone. You are still you, a separate individual setting out on a journey that, at times, may be grueling and will invariably present you with an assortment of unexpected challenges. Anticipating anything else would be like trusting that your motorcycle will flawlessly traverse the Mojave without encountering a single hitch. The odds of that? Zero.
Indeed, in any relationship, you are going to confront the occasional snafu. The question is, will you know how to effectively handle it when it does? How good are your motorcycle maintenance skills? If they aren’t so good, you’re bound to enter your relationships with many fears that things won’t go smoothly. And, unfortunately, your fears will be confirmed, because it’s impossible for even the best of relationships, like even the best of motorcycles, not to break down every once in a while. The more prepared you are to handle the maintenance and repairs on your own, the better able you will be to fully savor the ride without fretting about some unexpected hiccup halting your adventure. With the proper skills at your disposal, you’ll be confident in your ability to fix anything that might occur.
When it comes to relationships, “motorcycle maintenance” looks like you knowing how to transform your own emotional suffering each and every time it arises. And arise it will, as it does for us all. So, before packing your bags and hitting the highway, be prepared. Understand the skills it takes to handle every issue that can possibly arise (i.e. by giving permission and taking responsibility), rather than hoping for “the perfect ride” or for someone else to handle the repairs for you. This is exactly the ambition behind The Two Truths philosophy, to empower you to be able to handle each and every aspect of your “motorcycle’s” maintenance. Once you can do this, wow, you’ll be able to grab the handlebars and just go. Love with wind in your hair… what could be better?