Tag: wants

Being the Shore: The Ins & Outs of Emotional Closeness

People are always changing, flowing through shifting emotional states. As we morph throughout time, one of the things that fluctuates is our desire for emotional–and physical–closeness. This phenomenon can really complicate relationships! Your partner might not want to cuddle or have sex or share a meaningful conversation at the exact moment you do, or vice versa. You might want to feel closer to someone who doesn’t want closeness, or want more distance from someone who seeks greater closeness from you. An important question then arises: What’s the best way to manage these ever-shifting desires for closeness and distance? Here’s what I tell clients.

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Top 10 Relationship Myths

Conventional wisdom is great for creating ordinary relationships, but creating extraordinary relationships takes extraordinary means, means that replace conventional thinking with a less conventional, more out-of-the-box approach to connecting. In this article, I quickly debunk the top 10 relationship myths I see most often in couples counseling.

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The True Nature of Loneliness

Many clients have been talking to me recently about their feelings of loneliness. Of course, this isn’t particularly uncommon. The desire for interpersonal connection, intimacy, and companionship are an intrinsic part of what it means to be human. Indeed, no one enjoys feeling lonely. Consequently, the question of how to transform feelings of loneliness is certainly an important one, which is why I decided to give this topic some extra attention lately.

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The Importance of Mutuality

When you go to the grocery store, you generally have a successful relationship with the cashier who rings you up. It’s not much of a relationship, but it is a successful one. This success occurs simply because you and the cashier share a certain mutuality. You care equally about one another, maybe not much, but equally. Since your feelings are mutual, it is easy enough for you both to share a brief and cordial exchange. Why?

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Hot Intimacy

Falling in love is grand. There’s that spark of aliveness and vibrancy, energy, passion, and epiphany, like everything …

Taking Risks

This past weekend a good friend (and soulmate) of mine assembled a group of his closest allies to join him in celebration …

Hassle-Free Traveling, Living

We get dropped off at the curb at LAX in the morning, a few days after Christmas, the four of us, myself, my wife, two toddlers, …