Couples counseling with me doesn’t look like it might with most therapists. I’m not going to spend your valuable time (and mine) having you and your partner take turns talking and listening to each other. After all, chances are good that everything the two of you have to say about the relationship has already been said plenty of times before. No, I want to add something entirely different to the equation: a new way of thinking about the relationship and new skills to help create a better one.
I consider couples counseling my specialty and I’m adamant that no relationship is incapable of achieving harmony and intimacy. The first session is my opportunity to learn the unique facts about a relationship. After this, the fun begins. During future meetings, I teach both parties how they are individually responsible for the present state of affairs and, more importantly, what each can do to start powerfully transforming the relationship right away. I get couples to start thinking less in terms of “we” and more in terms of “I”, for it is in self-responsibility that lasting change happens, forming the foundation for interpersonal connection and joyfulness.